


If I Was a Bad Woman

by simpletumbleweedfarmer



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M, Other, Song: Bad Woman (Ruthie Collins), Song: Satisfied (Hamilton), also this makes mal alexander hamilton i am SO SORRY, but like there's two songs, idk how to write mal but I TRIED, it's inara's sister babey, mal has a type i guess?????, okay listen tho the lyrics to satisfied kinda fit mal okay FIGHT ME, songfic but not really because the song only applies in the beginning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:41:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23707825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simpletumbleweedfarmer/pseuds/simpletumbleweedfarmer
Summary: Powerful, elite, and completely broke is how the once wealthy Serra family could be described to Alliance society. With three daughters and no sons to carry on the name, the family's only chance is one of their three daughters, Amariah, Inara, and Priya, to marry well.As the oldest and knowing her younger sisters' dreams lie outside of marrying some wealthy lord, Amariah Serra realizes it is her duty to save her family - something she's been resolved to do for years.Until she meets Malcolm Reynolds.Amariah and her sister Inara both fall helplessly in love with the Browncoat at the exact same time.Amariah knows what duty to her family and loyalty to her sister ask her to do.But it isn't easy being the good daughter all your life. If only she was a bad woman.
Relationships: Inara Serra & Original Female Characters(s), Malcolm Reynolds/Inara Serra, Malcolm Reynolds/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 4





	1. Three Fundamental Truths

**Author's Note:**

> The beginning scene where Amariah meets Mal is inspired by "Satisfied" from Hamilton. I tried to incorporate the lyrics into the dialogue and description because I enjoy doing that, lol. The rest of the story (well the eventual ending) is semi-inspired by Ruthie Collins's song "Bad Woman." 
> 
> I've never read the comics or any of the novels so if Inara's backstory is revealed, I apologize. Just wanted to have some fun with it since I was listening to "Satisfied" after I watched "Shindig" and was like "woah hey this could fit."
> 
> Also, operating on the idea of Alliance society being similar to 1770s America in regards to marriage and women in general. At least at the top tiers of society. :)

“Your job is to find a husband.”

I feel my mother’s hot breath on my cheek the moment before she follows my father out in front of the crowd of people.

“Lady Eldora Serra of Shinon!”

I hear the crowd politely clap as my mother, in all her regal glory steps out onto that stage.

And I’m next.

“Do you think I look okay, Mari?”

I turn around, about to snap at her to be quiet before I miss my que, and I see her face. She’s nervous.

First balls will do that to you.

“You look fine, Inara. Stunning. Everyone will want to dance with you.”

She smiles softly, brushing a black curl off her shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Presenting Lady Amariah Serra.”

“Good luck!” Priya squeezes my shoulder.

I give my other sister a smile, and then step out in front of the crowd.

Every time I do this, it feels like I’m on sale.

Every time, the room goes deathly silent.

Every person in that room has their eyes on me.

Every man wants to be with me, and every woman wants to be me.

Daughter of the third most powerful man in the Alliance. And as his daughter, my only job is to marry rich and sit there, shut up and look pretty.

The silence is only broken by the click clack of my heels against the tile, the swish of pale pink silk of my dress, and then I hear the claps as I curtsey and take my place by my mother’s side.

The perfect little doll.

“Remember what I said. Tonight is not about fun,” my mother grabs my arm, whispering in my ear.

She lets go of my arm, giving me a pointed look as Inara is announced.

My father was not blessed with sons. He had three daughters instead – Amariah, Inara, and Priya.

Priya got the beauty – blue eyes, blonde curls, a carbon copy of our Londinium mother, small and delicate.

Inara got the talent – beautiful, stunning, and a master of seduction. She’ll be training as a Companion soon enough.

And me?

My mother described me as the oldest and the wittiest.

My father patted my hand and sighed and said “if only you were a boy.”

I’d done the calculations. Inara was too focused on becoming a Companion to care about marriage, and her talent would take her far. She was too kind, too trusting. Hopefully the House would breed that out of her.

Priya would marry someone – probably not a smart match, but she was always the foolish one. Too busy thinking about dresses and hair then to think about a smart marriage.

Which meant the entire family’s legacy was up to me, meeting a man at this ball, and marrying him.

Someone rich, someone smart and strong enough to ensure our family kept our position.

How I felt about it had nothing to do with it.

“Enjoy the ball!”

My mother finishes the speech I didn’t bother listening to, and motions to my sisters. “You girls go dance now.”

They curtsey, and giggle, “thank you Mother!” as they race each other down the stairs.

I take a step to follow them, and my mother grabs my elbow again.

“There is a Lord Vadim here. Dance with him.”

I nod, and slowly walk down the stairs, stopping at the bottom, reaching and tapping the arm of the first rich looking gentleman in my reach.

“Lady Amariah!” he stammers, before bowing. “I’m honored to meet you.”

He takes my hand, kissing it.

“And I am honored as well, Lord…?”

“Kolton, m’lady.”

“Perhaps you’ll do me the honor of a dance later?” I let my hand linger a moment longer in his, smile, slowly brushing a black curl behind my ear, letting my eyes look him up and down.

It’s a game.

Make him fall in love.

“I would be honored.”

I laugh, giving him a little wave, stepping away before turning back to whisper, “I’m looking forward to it.”

He smiles back, and I know that look. Like a deer in the headlights.

Men.

They’re all so stupid. A pretty girl smiles at them once and they fall apart.

My heels click across the cool marble floor, as I spot the next rich bachelor a few feet away from me, looking over the plate of strawberries on the buffet table.

The candlelight dances across the stained-glass windows, making the ballroom look like it’s decorated in rainbows. The walls are draped with the richest silks from the finest factories on Sihnon, gifts from my father’s family. A reminder of how rich we are.

Or were.

“I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you, sir,” I say to the man by the buffet table, reaching around him to pluck a strawberry off the table.

“It is a pleasure, Lady Amariah-“

I smile at him as he talks, telling me how honored he is to see me, how beautiful I am, and I let my eyes roam the crowd, looking for that _shee niou_ Lord Vadim.

And then I see him.

Our eyes meet as he steps in from the thrown-open doors to the garden. Floppy brown hair, blue eyes, looking uncomfortable in a brown suit jacket.

“As I was saying, it is a honor to meet someone-“

“Who’s that?”

“I’m sorry, m’lady, who?”

“Him.”

The man beside me looks over at the man who’s across the ballroom, and … walking towards us.

“I have no idea. He looks like he’s not from a fine family, m’lady, I’d stay away…m’lady?”

There’s something about him. Something about those eyes, those blue, blue eyes.

Something I can’t resist.

I walk towards him like I’m in a trance, and we meet in the middle of ballroom.

Intelligent eyes, and a hunger-pang face, like he’s searching for something. For someone.

“Hi.”

It’s the first word out of his mouth, and my breath catches, staring up at him, too close to be considered proper.

For a second, I forget my dang name.

My heart’s pounding, like it’s on fire.

Every part of me is on fire.

Suddenly, this whole toying and making them fall in love with me with the lords filling the room is not a game. It’s not a game when you’re the person being forced to fall in love.

“You look like a woman who has never been satisfied.”

I pull away from him, taking a half step back. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, you forget yourself.”

I know _exactly_ what he means, but polite company doesn’t speak of it.

“You’re like me, I’m never satisfied,” he says, taking another step towards me.

He means satisfied with life.

Satisfied in your place in life.

“Is that right?” I say, our eyes meeting again.

“I’ve never been satisfied.”

“My name is Amariah Serra.”

“Malcolm Reynolds.”

We stare at each other, the air feels still, like there’s no one else in the room but us. Like an electric shock is keeping me stuck to the ground.

I don’t fall in love. I’m not supposed to. You marry well, you don’t marry for love.

But oh, this feeling. This feeling I get when I look at him -

“Where’s your family from?”

_Please say somewhere rich and important._

He fidgets slightly, clearing his throat before he says, “Unimportant. There’s a million things I haven’t done. Just you wait.”

“My lady Amariah!”

I can hear someone saying my name, but they sound like a million miles away.

“I think there’s someone calling you.”

“I think you’re right,” I laugh slightly. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Malcolm Reynolds.”

He takes my hand in his, kissing it, never taking his eyes off of mine.

“Perhaps you’ll save me a dance.”

“There ain’t many people looking to dance with me here, m’lady.”

“Call me Amariah. And I would be honored, Lord Reynolds.”

“It’s just Mal. Just plain ol’ Malcolm.”

“Then I would be honored, Mal.”

“Lady Amariah!”

I turn and look over at the sleazy, short little man with the tiny little mustache. “My Lady Amaraiah, I’m Lord Vadim, and –“

“I don’t think the lady is interested. We were having a conversation.”

I look over at Malcolm and realize he’s taken a step in between me and Vadim, and I can feel his blood boiling.

He’s got a temper.

“Mal, it’s alright. Lord Vadim –“ I pause and curtsy. “Perhaps you’d do me the honor of a dance?”

Malcolm takes a step back, looking from me to Vadim, uncomfortable.

“Why, Lady Amariah, I’d be more than honored.”

I lay a hand on his arm, and I think we both feel the sparks radiating from the touch. “You’ll be sure to dance with me after this.”

He nods, and I let my hand drop off of his arm, praying my eyes communicate how much I’d prefer I was dancing with him.

Vadim takes my arm, leading me away from Malcolm, and I look back over my shoulder, catching him giving me a nod.

“Lady Amariah, you must be more careful,” Vadim tells me, wrapping an arm around my waist. “That man is a suspected Browncoat.”

“A Browncoat?” I laugh as Vadim spins me around, the room filling with the sound of a waltz. “I don’t know about that! He was just being kind. Besides, a poor boy like that? Why can’t I have a dance with him?”

Vadim pulls me a little closer, and I can feel his breath on my face. “Besides, my dear, I want you all to myself.”

I laugh, trying not to feel the panic rise in my chest.

“Lord Vadim, you forget yourself!”

He lets me go slightly. “Perhaps I do.”

The dance continues, Vadim telling me about his estate, and the entire time, I’m looking over his shoulder, desperate to catch a single glimpse of that Malcolm Reynolds.

Talking to Malcolm felt like finally matching someone. Someone who was at my level.

Someone who wasn’t just all about politics, getting rich, someone who _felt_ something for a change.

Our conversation lasted two minutes, maybe three, everything we said in total agreement. It was a dream, a dance.

But what the hell was the catch?

He was a flirt, but I'd give it a chance.

I asked about his family, and his answer, oh boy, his answer. His hands started fidgeting, he looked away.

He’s penniless, he was flying by the seat of his pants.

Handsome, and boy does he know it. Peach fuzz and he can’t even grow it.

I wanna take him far away from this place. Someplace we can be alone.

“It was a pleasure dancing with you, Amariah.” Vadim bows, kissing my hand. “I hope to see more of you.”

“As do I,” I curtsy, watching him walk away.

My heart’s pounding, as I look for Malcolm in the crowd, praying he remembers our deal.

“Mari!” Inara comes up to me, grabbing my arm, shaking me out of my trance.

“What do you want?” I snap, yanking my hand from her grasp. “I’m busy.”

“Who was that man you were talking to? The cute one, with the blue eyes?”

“Who, Lord Vadim?”

“No. The other one. With brown hair?” She smiles at me, and I realize I’ve never seen her like this.

Inara was focused on becoming a Companion, she barely looked at men.

Except to practice on them.

I smile, hopeful that maybe she’d settle down instead.

“Inara, _mei mei_ –“

Malcolm.

That’s who she’s referring to.

Malcolm.

My Malcolm.

“No one, why?”

"Because that one's mine. Please...can you introduce us?"

My sister’s face is helpless.

Helpless in _love_.

My baby sister is _in love._

In love with Malcolm. 

My Malcolm.

Inara has never been in love with anyone.

And now she’s in love with the one man at this entire ball I can stand.

“Please, Mari, he's...so different from the other men. I want to get to know him," she says, brown eyes shining.

And that's when I realize three fundamental truths at the exact same time.

“Give me a second, I’ll find him.”

Number one, I’m a girl in a world where my only job is to marry rich.

My father had no sons, and I’m the oldest and the wittiest and the one with the best chance of a handsome, rich match for the Serra sisters.

I’m the one who has to social climb, and the gossip in Shinon is insidious.

And Malcolm is penniless.

Not that it makes me want him any less.

“I was just coming to claim that dance, Amariah.”

I bump into him, by the buffet table.

I slip my arm into his giving him a warm smile.

“Come with me.”

“Where are you taking me?”

“I’m about to change your life.”

“Then, by all means, lead the way.”

Number two, he’s after me because I’m an Serra sister.

I’d raise his status in Alliance society, and I’d have to be naïve to set that aside.

Maybe that’s why I introduce him to Inara.

His eyes widen as soon as he sees her, and she curtseys. “Inara Serra.”

“Serra?”

“My sister.”

“You’re a soldier,” she says, motioning to the empty gun holster at his hip.

“Uh, yeah, something like that.”

“Thank you for all your service.”

He takes Inara’s hand and kisses it. “If it takes a war for us to meet, it would have been worth it.”

Number three, I know my sister like I know my own mind.

You’ll never find anyone as trusting and as kind.

If I told her I was in love with Malcolm Reynolds, he’d be mine.

She’d say she was fine.

She’d be lying.

“I’ll leave you to it!”

Inara nods and I step away, trying to make my voice sound light and happy.

“Lord Vadim!” I touch his arm, making him turn away from the red head he was talking with. “Perhaps you’d like to have another dance?”


	2. Promise

The guests are finally starting to leave, and the sun is slowly starting to rise, hours later.

I step out into the garden, watching the maids start the clean-up as the last of the guests start filtering out.

“I never got that dance.”

I turn and see Malcolm Reynolds, standing there, leaning against the side of the house.

“I’m sure you danced with Inara.”

“Yeah, but here’s the thing. I was lookin’ to see you.”

He walks over, holding out his hand, and I take it, letting him pull me to his feet.

“Mal-“

He wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me up against his chest.

“I may have helped the process along. Told her a few war stories. She didn’t seem to enjoy them.”

I roll my eyes, wrapping an arm around his neck, sleep drunk and feeling reckless.

Inara isn’t here. She doesn’t have to know.

“You don’t have a penny to your name, do you?”

“Why do you care?”

“In case you’ve forgotten, I’m the daughter of the third most powerful man in the Alliance, and we’re bleeding money like there’s no tomorrow. I can’t exactly drop everything to marry a nobody like you.”

“You’d marry me?”

“Can’t exactly just sleep with you and keep my worth on the marriage market, can I? Besides, I didn’t plan on ever letting you go.”

He smiles, licking his lips slightly. “I’m not exactly an Alliance man.”

“I don’t give a _gāisǐ_.”

“You’re that in love with me?”

“My sister loves you.”

“Your sister is young. She’ll move on. I like you, Mari. Run away with me.”

I’ve known this man for six hours, but that answer is _yes._

“Yes.”

He leans down, kissing me, and its picture perfect.

Everything I’ve ever wanted.

“One day, I’m going to buy a ship. And I’ll come back for you.”

He kisses me again, letting me go.

“I promise. And you’ll be free.”

“You better keep that promise, Mal.”

He turns and waves behind him, walking away.

And he’s gone.

And I’m left behind. Hoping that he keeps that promise.


	3. Thief

**Several Years Later…and a War Later**

“I hope I’m not expected to cry,” I pull out one of the million black dresses I now own, holding it up to me in front of the mirror.

“Well, it _is_ a funeral, Mari, you’re expected to be sad,” Priya says, looking at me in the mirror. “The dress is nice.”

“What happens when you couldn’t stand the man and wished him dead for the entire two years you were married?” I throw the dress down on the chair by the mirror. “Vadim was an awful, terrible little man. He was stupid with money, treated me like one of the servants, and he was worse in be-“

“You can stop there.” She puts a hand on my shoulder. “You shouldn’t speak ill of your husband. Even if he was terrible and dead.”

“I’m changing my name back to Serra and I’m staying a Serra.”

“You won’t remarry?” Priya sighs, sitting down on the vanity stool. “But won’t you be lonely? Miss having a man around?”

“No. I’ve sworn off of them.”

“Sworn off of what?”

“Men. All men.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I’m pretty sure I do.”

“Oh, Mari, you forgot your wedding rings.” Priya motions to my bare fingers, and I roll my eyes.

“The diamond’s too heavy. I barely wear it.”

“Still, at his funeral-“

“Fine. I’ll go get it and the other jewelry.” I tie the robe around me a bit tighter and Priya gives me a sympathetic smile.

“You’ll get through this, Mari,” she says, squeezing my arm before I assure her, I’m fine, and walk through the door of my bedroom and into the hall.

“I just want to get out of this place,” I mutter, walking down the open-air hall with its huge arches, looking over the courtyard and sprawling gardens.

Vadim might have lied about how much of a gentleman he was, but he wasn’t lying about how rich he was.

I mean, the man kept my jewelry in a separate, locked vault room.

I press my hand against the scanner, and wait for the metal door to swing open, stepping inside.

Display cases line the walls, each diamond and gem sparkling from the light of the chandelier above me.

The main display case was in the center of the room, proudly displaying the almost cartoonish large diamond engagement ring I was so graciously offered in exchange for my hand in marriage.

I cross the room, about to punch in the ten-digit code to release the lockouts so I can actually wear the thing and then I realize.

The ring is gone.

My worth-millions-of-credits-engagement-ring is gone.

“Where is that _gao yang jong duh goo yang_ ring?! _Tāmāde_!”

My heart leaps into my throat, as I realize the display is green.

Green like someone punched in the right code.

Someone stole my ring.

Someone might still be in this room.

I look up, slowly looking around the room, with its rows of display cases, long silk curtains that a grown man could hide behind.

And I swear one of them moves.

I kneel down, pretending to look at the keypad, sliding my hand to a drawer beneath the ring, pulling out my (former) husband’s prize pistol.

I tuck it in the folds of my pink silk robe, slowly standing up, and moving to the panel by the door that houses the intercom for the house.

My hand’s shaking, as I reach up, about to press the button for security.

In the reflection, I see the curtain move and a man step out, silently, stepping closer to me.

I slide the pistol out from my robe and move my hand to slam the button when I hear the distinct sound of another pistol being cocked back.

“Hold it right there, sweetheart. Hands up, turn around. Slowly.”

I slowly start raising my one hand, gun in the other, and at the last minute, spin around, aiming the barrel of the gun at the chest of the man who stole my engagement ring.

“ _Wǒ de mā…cái bù shì_ …Amariah?”

My mouth drops open as I stare down the man I was so in love with, who promised to take me off of this planet, who would have saved me from Vadim.

The man who broke my heart.

And his promise.

“ _Liú kǒushuǐ de biǎozǐ hé hóuzǐ de bèn érzǐ_! You worthless piece of _gǒushǐ_! You left me here, you broke your promise and you stole my engagement ring!”

“Engagement ring? This is your hunk of diamond?” Mal holds up his free hand, the ring ever so delicately perched on his pinky finger.

“Yes, _yúbèn de._ Since you never came back for me, I had to marry someone else!”

“Can we stop with the insults and put the gun down, Amariah, please?”

“You first!”

“Why do I have to go first?”

“You proved just how untrustworthy you really were when you left me here three years ago, so forgive me if I don’t trust you.”

“Amariah-“ he tries again, keeping the gun level.

I cock back my pistol with a click. “Drop it.”

“Okay, okay.” Mal slowly kneels down, putting the pistol on the floor.

“Ring too.”

“You really take everything from a man, you know that?”

“Shut up.”

He slides the ring off his finger and straightens, holding his hands up.

“You’re going to answer a few questions while you’re here.”

“Will you let me go after?”

“Depends on your answers.” I keep the gun trained on him, trying to ignore how handsome he still was and how badly my heart pounded when I looked at him.

_Càode._

_I’m still in love with him._

“Why’d you leave me here?” I’ve been dying to know the answer for years, but suddenly, facing Mal down, I almost don’t want to hear him say it.

He fidgets, licking his lips, looking uncomfortable, and then back up at me.

“I didn’t want to.”

“You didn’t want to? Then why didn’t you come back?”

“I couldn’t. I told you that night I wasn’t an Alliance man, Amariah. I would have been dead if I came back.”

“Did you love me?”

“Love? C’mon, _bǎo bèi_.”

“Answer the question!” I snap, taking a step forward. “I swear, Mal-“

“YES! Okay, fine, yes, I was in love with you.”

I slowly kneel down to the ground, dropping the pistol and kicking it out of the way.

“Say it again. I want to know you mean it.”

I watch him fidget and look uncomfortable, and then his eyes meet mine. “Amariah, you’re the only woman I thought about joining the Alliance for. I’m not the romantic type and I’m not the marryin’ man, but I thought about flying back here and dropping to one knee and asking you to marry me every damn night.”

“What stopped you?”

“The death threats mostly. And the fact a guy who grew up on Shadow could have never asked for the hand of a lady like you.”

We stand there in silence, and to my surprise, Mal doesn’t make a move towards the ring or the pistol.

He just stands there staring at me.

And then finally breaks the silence.

“I know you’re a married woman now –“

I walk up to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, and his hands slide around my waist, like that night at the ball.

“Kiss me, Malcolm Reynolds.”

And he does.

He’s gotten better since he was younger.

“I’ve got some news for you.”

He looks at me, arms still wrapped around me. “Yeah?”

“I’m not married.”

I hold up my left hand with my (obviously) missing ring. “Vadim died last week. Perfect timing if you ask me.”

“Amariah, I can’t ask you to marry me,” Malcolm starts, voice strained.

“Oh, forget that. I’m not marrying again anytime soon. But I very much want to avoid my husband’s funeral. And being his widow. You came here, you must have a ship.”

“You’d put an Alliance target on my back!”

“The daughter of the third most powerful man can go where she pleases and with whoever she pleases, _bái chī._ Please, Mal, I can’t stay here.”

He’s silent, and I can tell he’s torn. “ _Bǎo bèi_.” He leans down, kissing me again. “This is a bad idea.”

“The worst.”

“We’d have the Alliance on our tails for years.”

“And there’s your folks…”

I swallow hard, looking up at his blues, and then kiss him hard on the mouth again, before letting him go. “I need a bad idea. I can’t live like this for the rest of my life. You promised me freedom, Mal. Keep that promise.”

“We keep our relationship from my crew. Understood?”

“You’re the one kissing me and calling me _bǎo bèi.”_

He hides a small smile. “And you listen to me. It’s Captain Renyolds now.”


End file.
